Helping Kids Name Their Emotions With Brené’s “Language of the Heart”

Giving children words for their feelings isn’t just cute—it’s a radical act of empowerment.

Key Takeaways

➡️ Words Create Worlds: When kids can name their emotions, they can navigate them instead of being ruled by them.

➡️ Vulnerability Is a Strength: Teaching emotional language models courage, empathy, and self-respect.

➡️ Start Small, Stay Consistent: Everyday conversations—at the dinner table, in the car, before bed—are powerful spaces for emotional education.

The Power of Naming What Hurts (and What Heals)

Think about the last time you felt something big—maybe a sudden wave of sadness, a flash of excitement, or a pang of jealousy—and couldn’t quite explain why. Now imagine being six years old, with a heart full of feelings but no words to describe them. Frustration bubbles over. Tears come fast. Sometimes, anger shows up instead of sadness because it feels easier to express.

For many kids, this is everyday life. Their bodies register emotions long before their brains can label them. But according to researcher and author Brené Brown, giving language to those feelings isn’t just a nice parenting tool—it’s a lifeline. In Atlas of the Heart, Brown explores how words shape our inner landscapes, helping us understand not only what we feel but also how to share it with others.

Why Naming Feelings Changes Everything

Brown’s research on vulnerability and empathy reveals a truth we often overlook: language is connection. Without it, emotions can feel overwhelming or even frightening. Children who can identify their feelings—whether it’s disappointment, joy, or loneliness—gain a sense of control. They realize that emotions are not monsters to be avoided but signals to be understood.

Psychologists call this emotional granularity, and it’s linked to better mental health and stronger relationships. Kids who can say “I feel anxious” instead of just “I feel bad” are more likely to ask for help, practice self-care, and empathize with others. Brown puts it simply: “We can’t process what we can’t name.”

Turning Everyday Moments Into Emotional Lessons

Helping kids build a “language of the heart” doesn’t require a PhD in psychology or perfectly planned lessons. In fact, the most impactful teaching moments often happen in the in-between spaces of daily life.

• Car Rides: Instead of the standard “How was your day?” try, “What was one feeling you had today that surprised you?”

• Bedtime Check-Ins: Ask, “Can you think of a color that matches how you feel right now?” Younger kids especially love using colors, animals, or weather to describe emotions.

• Story Time: While reading books or watching shows together, pause to ask, “What do you think this character is feeling? What word would you use for that?”

These conversations normalize emotional expression. They teach kids that all feelings—yes, even the messy ones—are valid and worth naming.

Modeling the Language You Teach

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Brown’s work reminds us that vulnerability starts with adults. If you want a child to share their feelings, share yours first.

Instead of hiding stress or sadness, try:

“I feel worried about a work project today, and my chest feels tight. I’m going to take a few deep breaths to help.”

This shows kids that emotions aren’t dangerous. They see that naming a feeling is the first step to calming it, not a sign of weakness.

Building Emotional Vocabulary Together

Brown’s Atlas of the Heart maps 87 emotions and experiences, offering language that goes far beyond “happy,” “sad,” or “mad.” While you don’t need to teach every word, expanding a child’s vocabulary over time creates a richer emotional toolkit.

Start with words like:

• Overwhelmed instead of just “stressed”

• Disappointed instead of “mad”

• Hopeful instead of “excited”

Post a “feelings chart” on the fridge. Play “emotion charades.” Make a game of spotting new feeling words in books or conversations. Small, consistent practice leads to big emotional fluency.

Why This Matters Now

Today’s kids are growing up in a world that often prizes achievement over emotional well-being. Social media filters emotions into highlight reels, while school systems focus on test scores. Teaching the language of the heart is a quiet act of resistance. It tells kids that who they are matters more than what they produce.

Brown’s research shows that children who learn to name their emotions develop stronger self-worth and healthier relationships. They are better equipped to navigate conflict, set boundaries, and lead with empathy—skills the world desperately needs.

Helping a child name their emotions isn’t about creating tiny therapists. It’s about honoring their humanity. When we give kids words for what they feel, we give them the keys to their own hearts.

Brené Brown reminds us that vulnerability is not weakness but the birthplace of connection. When a child says, “I feel lonely,” and we respond with empathy instead of dismissal, we teach them something profound: that being human is not about perfection but about being understood.

In a culture that often rushes past feelings, slowing down to name them is nothing short of revolutionary.