How to Parent Your Future Self: Why Growing Up Means Taking Care of Who You’ll Become

Learning to nurture the person you’re becoming might be the most powerful form of self-love there is.

Key Takeaways

➡️ Growing up isn’t just about freedom—it’s about responsibility to your future self. The habits, values, and choices you form now create the emotional home your older self will live in.

➡️ Self-parenting is a daily practice, not a punishment. It means setting boundaries, being kind to yourself, and making choices that support your future well-being.

➡️ Wisdom doesn’t wait for age. You can start building the mindset of your future self right now—through reflection, intention, and self-respect.

What if you could meet your future self?Would they thank you for how you’re living today—or ask why you didn’t take better care of them?

We spend so much of our teenage and early adult years racing toward independence: the freedom to make our own choices, find our voice, and define who we are. But there’s one thing no one really teaches us—how to think about who we’re becoming.

Maya Joshi’s How to Parent Your Future Self: Wisdom for Young Minds invites us to flip the script on growing up. Instead of seeing adulthood as a finish line, she asks us to view it as a relationship we’re building—with our future selves. Through her gentle yet grounded philosophy, Joshi reminds us that every choice we make today—how we treat our body, our emotions, our dreams—is a conversation with the person we’ll one day be.

1. The Future You Is Listening

You know that inner voice that reminds you to drink water, get some sleep, or not text your ex? That’s your future self whispering through time.

Joshi writes that “every small decision is like sending a message to the person you’ll become.” When we ignore our limits, hide from hard emotions, or abandon goals out of fear, our future self feels the weight. But when we choose rest, honesty, or courage, that future version of us grows stronger.

Think about it like this: if you could leave daily Post-it notes for your older self, what would they say? “Keep going—you’re doing better than you think.” “You didn’t let fear win today.” “You showed up with kindness.” These messages are what Joshi calls “acts of time-traveling care”—small but consistent ways to build emotional safety across your own timeline.

Parenting your future self doesn’t mean being perfect. It means showing up now in ways that help you trust yourself later.

2. Boundaries Are a Form of Love, Not Control

For young people, boundaries can sound like a cage. But Joshi reframes them as one of the kindest things you can give to your future self.

When you say no to what drains you, yes to what nourishes you, or take a moment to rest instead of push, you’re not being lazy—you’re protecting your long-term energy. “Self-parenting,” Joshi explains, “isn’t about restriction. It’s about preservation.”

This shift changes everything. Instead of seeing limits as something adults impose, boundaries become something we choose—because we finally understand that energy, time, and peace are not infinite. Whether it’s unplugging from toxic group chats, setting study hours that actually work for your brain, or spending time with people who make you feel safe, these aren’t rules—they’re forms of love.

In Joshi’s view, the way we care for ourselves sets the tone for how we’ll love others. “If we can’t speak to ourselves with patience,” she writes, “how can we expect to offer it to the world?”

3. You’re Allowed to Be Both Becoming and Enough

One of the most powerful lessons Joshi offers young readers is this: growth doesn’t cancel out worth.

In a culture obsessed with self-improvement and hustle, it’s easy to believe you’re always a few steps behind your “best self.” But what if, as Joshi suggests, your best self isn’t a destination—it’s a relationship you nurture every day?

She invites readers to imagine self-growth less like climbing a mountain and more like tending a garden. You can plant new seeds while still loving what’s already growing. You can make mistakes without deciding you’re broken. You can be both a work in progress and a masterpiece in motion.

Parenting your future self means permitting them to evolve slowly, beautifully, and imperfectly. The goal isn’t to “fix” who you are, but to guide yourself with care and consistency—so that when your future self looks back, they’ll feel loved, not pressured.

In the end, How to Parent Your Future Self isn’t just a book for young readers—it’s a quiet manifesto for anyone standing on the edge of becoming. It asks us to treat our inner world as something worth raising: to nourish it, protect it, and believe in it even when it stumbles.

Because the truth is, your future self isn’t some stranger waiting in the distance. They’re already with you—hidden inside your choices, your values, your voice. And maybe the most grown-up thing any of us can do is start showing up for them now.